Fly Me Away

I'm going on a study abroad to England this spring. In six weeks and two days, I will be in Scotland. We'll be hiking all over the place and I really just want to go now.
Who needs school, right?
I am so excited...until I looked at the packing list. Hiking clothes? What? This was all new to me. I mean, give me a pair of jeans and some tennis shoes and I'm good to go.
But no. I have to buy pants like these. Or even these.
Why, oh why. I guess I should forget my vanity. But who wants to ever feel like they're a nine year old boy with ZIP OFF PANTS. Not me, thank you very much.
I just keep telling myself, "Jane, you'll be in England. Who cares if you look like a socially awkward nine year old boy...and smell like one, too?"
I am so ready to go, tho. Despite the pants. Despite the smell and the blisters that are headed my way. When do you get a chance to hike across Great Britain with some pretty amazing people and see where Jane Austen and William Wordsworth and Charlotte Bronte lived and wrote?
So, please, just take me away right now.

love and loath.

love:
-being done with taxes. thank you, father.
-stake conference today. the member of the 70 that visited was hilarious.
-sunday naps.
-shakespeare. the more i read of him, the more i absolutely adore him.
-discussing which man from little house on the prairie is most attractive with my mom. (decision, none of them. to quote her: "I would poke myself in the eye before I would pick Charles.")

loath:
-meetings that go over time. i have issues with attention.
-people telling me what to do. it's probably my biggest pet peeve.
-forgetting homework until 10 pm the night before it's due.
-eating too much junk food. (gym tomorrow say what?)
-people telling my i'm doing my job wrong. especially when i'm not. (i guess that plays into people telling me what to do. i really hate that. maybe i shouldn't be so stubborn.)

in which jane experiences an identity crisis.

is it bad that sometimes i just hate hate HATE reading classics?
because i do.
but then on the other hand, i am an english major and i should just jump for joy at the thought of reading 80 pages in Joseph Andrews before class tomorrow.
trust me, i'm not. the book is ridiculous and i'd much rather be watching community. thank you very much.

which, you know, i just might do.
good night everybody!

-jane.

Press On.

So there I sat. The computer screen loomed in front of me and I felt overwhelmed. How was qu’est-ce que c’est? different from qui est-ce? What in the world did c'est even mean? And how was I supposed to write sentences using these phrases when honestly all I knew how to say was Bonjour, je m'appelle Jane. Comment allez-vous? and Trés bien!

Tears started to roll down my face. The frantic "I can't do this!" call to my mom didn't help much (she can't magically fix my problems, despite all my conviction otherwise). Reading the text book again didn't help at all.

But then I saw this on my syllabus:

"'Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle.'
                                                                                                       --President Thomas S. Monson
This course is time-consuming and demanding. However, if you work hard and try your best, the Lord will sustain you and you will be the miracle."

I can do this.

And then I was reminded of this song. I'm convinced Fun. can be applied to every situation. (Well, not really...just most situations...haha)

But really, sometimes things seem way too overwhelming to handle. And I've learned that:

a) even when things seem down, you CAN do it.

b) emotional breakdowns are ok.

c) take a step back, take a deep breath.

d) Heavenly Father will raise you to EVERY occasion. Even if it's French 101.

A Thought.

dear brownie box,
why do you discourage me from eating your batter?

sincerely,
a rebellious child.

dear education week,
why must you take every parking spot in provo and cause me to be 30+ late to work?
sincerely,
frustrated student employees everywhere.

dear fairy tales,
why must you be so amazing?

sincerely,
a starry eyed romantic.

dear head scarves,
i love you with all my heart, please let me wear you 24/7.

sincerely,
hair obsessed girl.

dear hormones,
leave me be. please.
sincerely,
stressed out of my mind.

sincerely,

Makin' Things Difficult

The Assignment: write a 6-8 research paper on a piece of twentieth century american literture out of the norton anthology. include an abstract, an outline and an annotated bibliography.
The Catch: don't write the paper, just the other stuff.

Sounds easy, yes?

My Response: you've got to be flippin' kidding me.

I'm probably making this harder than  it needs to be. But nevertheless. I'm freaking out.

Dear World:

Things that are NOT okay with me:
-spiders. especially when there is no one around to kill them. and they are the size of a loaf of bread.
-ridiculous busy work assignments.
-research papers that don't involve writing papers...what is this?
-crop tees. i think they are weird. don't ask me why. maybe because they look terrible on me.
-sketchy videos shown in class.

Things that ARE okay with me:
-men like neal caffrey. for some reason art thieves are extremely attractive to me. maybe because they love art as much as i do. except i wouldn't go so far as to steal some...
-skinny jeans. a win everytime.
-fresh fruit.
-little sisters that paint your fingernails for you. so so cute.
-a 4 year old little boy chasing a 17 year old girl with a sock monkey while the girl screams. funniest thing i've seen all day.

sincerely,